War Song

Knuckle up, buckle up,

Leave the sheets ruckled up!

Let your eyes tear up,

Let your voice clear up.

Enough thinking, enough shrinking,

Don’t let your soul go sinking!

Let them know where you stand

Show them you don’t dance to command.

Fight wrong, fight strong,

Your battle, your war-song!

Don’t let them put a god-awful price,

On your precious life, your paradise.

Trash ‘em up, mess ‘em up,

Make some noise, stress ‘em up!

Leave your mark, don’t sit on a label,

Even if you become a villain in their fable.

Ashes to Dust

The sadness I’ve felt, oh in sadness I’ve dwelled!

My heart looking for content, a thirst never to be quelled!

Yet when they look at me, they see no tears to be found,

For I cry from my veins, leave traces on the ground.

My secrets stay with me, oh how they stay with me,

Poisoning me with hatred, red anger and agony!

How much can one hold, without drowning inside?

How long can one suffocate on all that they hide?

“Why not say something? Why not spurt it all out?”

I’m often asked, my intentions cloud them with doubt,

But how do I sing about misery when they pretend to be deaf?

To my cries and my screams against this life of theft?

So when I walk away one day, oh I’ll walk away one day,

Don’t try to look for me, don’t bother to find a way,

For you can wear your mask and dress yourself in fake concern,

But you cannot make ashes return to before the state of burn.

Light

Staggering into the darkness,

The deep black pit I call home,

I bump upon loose canons

While walking through catacombs.

And so I lie, so I die,

Bit by bit each night

For defeat seems imminent

In absence of the light.

But wait! I feel the warmth again,

The warmth of the golden sun;

Upon my pale, cold, sunken skin

I feel my heart race, blood run.

And through that cascade of gold,

Your silhouette shines in black

You bring to me a moment of peace,

And all my demons, they fall-back.

You snatched me from the underworld

For a while it feels like I’m brought alive

And you put my pieces back together

With the intention for me to thrive.

And so I do, in your light,

I look at my way ahead,

Everything makes me smile

And nothing now I dread.

But I don’t look back, I’ll never look back

Because I’m scared you won’t be there

That soft nudge, that quiet push,

All disappeared in thin air.

But still I’ll walk, I’ll breathe in your warmth

Even in your absence so stifling;

Because this moon that you were to my night

Makes my darkest sorrow look trifling.

Daddy’s Little Girl

The little hands and little feet,
You called me princess at every beat,
The wonderful warmth of your embrace,
With your fatherly chest pressed against my face.
When was the last time I felt that way?
Of hearing my daddy encouragingly say
How much he loved me, so long it seems,
Or am I going crazy, was it only in my dreams?

Did you ever hold me close?
Did you ever pat my head?
Did you ever say you loved me?
Or even heard what I said?

All my childhood dreams are shattered
And I can’t understand why I never mattered
For I’m made from your flesh and your blood
Your bones writhing inside me, thud, thud, thud
You are there in the browns of my eyes
And the voice that often cries
You are there in the curve of my curls
In every rhythm that my head swirls.

Why did you never hold me tight?
Never watched to see me twirl?
And although you never loved me,
Why so am I still a daddy’s little girl?

Hidden

Is there a cloud that looms over

That lovely mouth of yours,

The smile that keeps hidden

The depth of your scars?

Is there a stone that feels

Like the weight of the Earth,

That burdens your frail heart

Like the pain of giving birth?

Do you wake up each day,

Eyes wide open, but dead

Or do you often just lay

Wishing you had fled?

From all the misery, all the hurt

All the undeserving agony,

Do you go to sleep wishing

Away all these years in vanity?

How do you stand upright,

How do you silently sigh?

When everything is killing you,

It must take guts to not cry.

Some days

The splinter in my heart seems healed,

Yet those days I still feel it bleed

And hurt, that excruciating pain

Of being consciously slain …

From skull to toes, wrecked in half,

I let out a scream (or was it a laugh?)

Am I scared or am I relieved?

Rather be dead than be the object of need.

Drowning in darkness, choking on light,

I see no end to this immortal fight;

Anguished yet awake, I need to see

How wilfully I murder the entirety of Me.

Day and Night

Mid-day sun blazes through my windows

And my eye-lids, as I lift ‘em slow,

Shaking myself from some drawn out dream;

I’m awake, I’m alive, time to put on a show!

Wear you best smile, yes sir!

Look like you’re fine, yes sir!

Make your eyes shine, yes sir!

Pull up your spine, yes sir!

Stay within your line, yes sir!

Off I go, like a newly freed bubble,

Dancing, sparkling my way through;

‘Let me help you ma’am , ah no trouble’

Pleasantly helping a person or two.

And I float along so blissfully ahead:

They say I look like I’m in love with each breath

That I take and each heartbeat that breaks

Into a melody of thumps that say I’m not dead.

I momentarily feel like the sun will never set,

And I’ve tasted the warmth of eternity on my lips;

But as yellow and orange turn into purple and pink

All my happiness, all my hope, my light, it slips.

I laugh, I smile, I love and I kiss

Life, with all the might I try

To live another day the best I can,

Because often at night, at night I die.

Who Am I?

Am I what these voices say

In the gravest of nights

Never the conqueror

Never the knight

Someone who never touches these heights?

.

What am I, I wonder?

Am I more than a speck of dust

Always in the shadows

Never in the light

Left here to rust?

.

Who am I, I seek my truth

Am I more than just flesh and bones?

Forever a nobody

Deadbeat for eternity

Made of skull and crossbones.

.

Can I ever know euphoria

That comes from the fervour

Of marching in a battle,

And coming out a victor,

My soul set free from immure!

Often When it Rains

Often when it rains,

When the sun sets on me

And the gloom abruptly drains

Me of my sanity,

You come to me, my love

Like the magic of dried mud

Being drenched with water above

You make my dark world flood.

.

And often when it pours

You come to me, mon amour

Rustling through my doors

Like blooms budding for more…

And I no longer care

Of the cloudy skies

You’re the answer to my prayer

The sparkle in my eyes.

Nights

The day goes by,

Without a speck of dust,

I start wondering why

I begin to rust

As soon as the night,

The dark night falls,

I lose the fight

When my demon calls.

And in the dead quiet of the dark

I hear all that I drown inside.

The fire that starts with a tiny spark,

The voice that says ‘you should’ve died’

‘With the sun should you’ve gone

With the light should you’ve left

Never too late, before the dawn

Let’s return this breath of theft’

For my heart though weak

It sings like a bird,

And my eyes they speak

What with ears can’t be heard,

And I know somewhere,

I know what’s right,

That it’s not fair,

To see the end of night.

For who am I

But a monument of thoughts?

Made of Why

And a lot more whats!

Who needs this

When words don’t count?

In the scheme of things

All that matters is the amount

Of things you own

Not just in your mind,

Integrity can’t feed you

Get nothing by being kind.

In the quiet of the night,

My pride falls apart,

I begin to rust

I begin to depart.